turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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