i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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