He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's blow job season.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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