Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
