just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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