i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
