There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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