Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
