You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
