5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
