They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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