Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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