well I can't set my house on fire every night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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