I have demons in me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
