Non-Jews are for practice
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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