well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
