He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
