And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
