They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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