We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
