i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
