I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
