I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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