He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
