just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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