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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
BRING THE BAGELS
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
