Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
