No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
