Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
