did you get engaged???
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize