i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think a kid would responsible me up
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize