I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
