There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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