But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
