Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
