My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize