my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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