I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
