So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
