i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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