I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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