I am puke
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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