no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
