I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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