Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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