Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
