I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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