it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
