When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
