Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
