I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
