OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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