You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
