WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
