is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
