is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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