She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
