Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
