What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
