She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
