He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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