she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
