That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
