Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
