the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of course I have a pirate flag
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
