at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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