I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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