I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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