I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
