Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
bring money and cleavage
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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