Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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