You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
