Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
