yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
