There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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